Ditch All Your Trump Voting Friends and Family

In 2009-ish, my parents disowned me, then a little later on I disowned them. The reason? First, my parents disowned me for writing a short essay on Facebook about why I'm an atheist. This wasn't the first time, but it was the most tragic time because it took. They had taken a hard right into Tea Party territory, and would NOT relent with their political crap. The final act that took me to no contact was when I asked for a simple boundary: Let's not talk about politics when we're together.

My dad told me that boundary was impossible because socialism would never work. I hadn't said anything about socialism. I'd just voted for Obama. I knew what socialism was. I'm okay with democratic socialism, but I hadn't talked about the nuances of that with my dad at any time ever. It was a thread of the brainwashing coming loose because I'd directly challenged racist and sexist comments I'd heard. No boundary? No parents.

Fifteen years later... my dad is dead. He died in 2020 after a six-year bout with Alzheimer's. I found out in 2021 when I suddenly got an email from a lawyer because the dipshit died without a will, so I was due to inherit a little cash. Not much. Mostly, what was left after he sold my grandma's house after she died. My mom spun this story to the lawyers that they'd reached out to me before and I'd denied their money, so I probably wouldn't want this either. That initial lie was so damaging I spent the next two years trying to figure out if I could trust ANY of the lawyers involved, learning how to look this shit up online, and also how to manipulate lawyers.

My mom's in South Dakota. She did her best to hide this from me during the legal proceedings to the extent of waiting to give me my check until she could come to Washington herself and have the lawyers send it so I wouldn't get her address. I still have it, Sheri. Public documents are public, you moron.

So, listen, I have a note for all of you out there who are ditching your parents who voted your rights down the river. The air's better out here, and remember what you learned as a kid? Actions have consequences, even if they aren't intended consequences. They made their beds, now it's time to sleep in them. Alone.

You don't owe anyone your forgiveness, least of all people who keep stabbing you in the back while insisting it's for your own good. Your parents voted for someone who said, loudly and proudly, that your rights, your autonomy, your very existence were up for debate. They heard that message, and they shrugged, and they pulled the lever for hate anyway. Because maybe they didn’t want to pay a few extra bucks for gas. Or maybe they thought it was all just a joke, and they’d rather troll the “woke” than stand by their own child. Whatever their reasons, they chose convenience over your humanity.

And you know what? That’s on them. They made that choice. And now you get to make yours.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it: Going no contact hurts. It feels like something has been ripped out of you, and the hole it leaves behind doesn’t just close up overnight. But the thing is, you can’t heal in a place where you’re constantly being wounded. You can’t grow in a space that keeps demanding you shrink yourself, that keeps telling you that your worth is conditional, that your rights are negotiable. Sometimes, the only way to survive is to leave, to say, “No more.”

And out here? It is better. It’s freer. You get to build your own family, your own community. One that sees you. One that loves you, no conditions, no strings attached. One that doesn’t vote against your existence or try to tell you that your life is worth less than theirs. And yeah, sometimes it’s lonely. Sometimes you’ll wish you had the parents that movies and TV promised you. But every time you stand up for yourself, every time you choose your own dignity, you’re building something better. You’re building a life that’s yours, not one that you have to cut pieces off of just to fit into their mold.

And your parents? They made their choice. They chose Trump, they chose bigotry, they chose hate, and now they get to live with the consequences of that. If that means they lose their child, if that means they have to sit with the empty seats at holiday dinners, well, that's what happens when you decide that your comfort is worth more than your own child’s life. Maybe someday they'll realize what they lost. Maybe they won't. But either way, it’s not your burden anymore. You’ve carried it long enough.

To everyone feeling the weight of that decision this week—wondering if you’re doing the right thing, if you should give them just one more chance—know this: you deserve more than people who will barter away your rights for their own comfort. You deserve love that doesn’t come with a vote against your humanity. It’s okay to walk away. It’s okay to let them feel the weight of their choices.

Because out here, there are people who will fight for you, who will love you without conditions, who will see your humanity without you having to prove anything. And that’s worth more than every forced family dinner or fake apology. That’s worth more than trying, again and again, to convince someone to love you in a way they clearly can’t.

Let them sleep in the bed they made. You’ve got your own life to build, one where your value isn’t up for debate, one where your rights aren’t negotiable. It’s time. Leave them behind, and start building something better.

Don't believe me! Always fact-check everything you read on the internet through multiple sources. Here's a list to help.