I had to lock myself out of Reddit today. Literally revoke access to my account because I couldn’t trust myself not to go back, not to look for hope in a sea of people too comfortable to care. I had to digitally ghost a platform just to find peace in my own fucking head.
And you know what did it? What finally pushed me over the edge?
This week’s marches. These so-called “resistance” events that were nothing more than glorified brunch parades. Cops guarding the route. Organizers insisting on “unity” while refusing to name what the hell they’re actually resisting. Signs about 401ks and “saving democracy” but not a damn mention of mass deportations, erased trans lives, or the fascism stomping on our necks.
And now? Now we see it in writing.
Democrats, the ones who begged for our votes, are openly calling due process violations a distraction. A man was illegally deported to El Salvador despite a court order. He's being held without access to family or lawyers. And what does Gavin Newsom say?
It’s the distraction of the day.
The fucking distraction of the day. Because human rights are too messy, too brown, too queer, too unpollable. Because this fight isn’t marketable. Because empathy is inconvenient.
You know what’s worse? I’ve seen this before.
When I ran ConTessa, I begged marginalized folks to stand beside me. I gave up years of my life, money, time, safety—so others could have the visibility they said they wanted. And when it came time to risk something, when we needed people to speak up, push back, demand structural change? They disappeared. And the organizations that claimed to “support” us? Gen Con and their ilk? They wanted us there—but only if we paid our own way. When I pushed back, people told me, “I’ll still be attending. It’s important visibility.”
Visibility? Without solidarity is a knife.
I’ve spent years showing up. Voting in every election. Backing Democrats, even when they trampled my rights, because I believed in strategic survival. Because I believed someone had to hold the line.
But what have we gotten in return?
- No codified Roe.
- No Equality Act.
- No trans protections.
- No action when we are abducted, erased, discarded.
- And now, when we dare to question the focus of their protest photo ops, we get told we’re “defeatist” or “boring.”
We were there for them. We showed up when they needed votes, when they needed bodies, when they needed morality cosplay. But when we need them? When our rights are on the chopping block?
Silence. Or worse, strategy memos about how our pain is bad optics.
This isn’t just betrayal. This is clarity.
If they won't stand up for Kilmar Abrego Garcia, if they won't stand up for trans people, for disabled people, for immigrants, for the working poor, then they will not stand up for me.
And I will not stand with them.
I'm done marching for people who don't show up for me. I'm done voting for parties who see my existence as a liability. I'm done swallowing my fear and rage for the sake of their comfort.
I don’t need their approval. I need a future.
And if they’re too afraid to build it with me, then they’re the distraction. Not me. Not us.
Them.